Current Stressors:
- Single Mom
- Full-Time Student
- Business Owner (this is used VERY loosely at this point)
- ADHD
and last but not least
INTERNET JUNKIE
This reminds me of the PSA that I saw on TV as a young impressionable girl. . . The one with the ballerina dancing around, and then falling. The voice over saying, in an ominous voice, "No one ever says 'I want to be a junkie when I grow up.'"
How true. Yet, here I am, all grown up and the first thing I can thinking about upon wakening is how fast to get my ADD Meds and Coffee on board, and Facebook into my veins. I'm so far down that it not only affects my own life, but it negatively affects the lives of my children, as well. My children who think that "outside is boring" because I've used the television as a crutch for the past 3.5 years, as a single mom.
I find myself brushing off my boys questions, and attempts for attention just so that I can finish responding on a heated status update. Or, I make them wait for supper until I'm finished writing an inconsequential email about something that I'm fired up about that day. . . or I yell at them to get out of my room so that I can finish a show on Hulu that is not appropriate for them to watch, and all because I just want time to myself.
There is something VERY wrong with this picture. Oh, if I were the type of woman who has self-control, but I'm not. Plain and simple, I am not wired that way. When I want time to myself, that's what I want, kids be damned. But, I DON'T want to be that kind of mom. I don't want my boys to grow up and think that they had a mom who cared more about her computer than she did about them.
So, what is my solution?
Unplug. . . Almost completely. I've already deactivated my Facebook account, which I had convinced myself that I needed for my business. . . but I have been unsuccessful at getting my business started BECAUSE of Facebook. . . So, buhBYE!!
When I'm finished with this blog post, I'm going to email it to a few of my friends of whom I think may care, and then I'm done. Finished. I'm getting rid of the TV and all of the movies. I'm calling my internet provider and canceling my internet (after I cancel my Netflix and Hulu accounts).
I will have my computer to do work and school on, but in order to connect, I will have to go to the library, or a coffee shop or a friend's house, but I will not allow myself to have easy access to the internet.
It will no longer be an option for my boys to throw temper tantrums after I tell them "No" to a movie, because they will soon learn that at mommy's house, it's just not an option; they're going to have to learn to use their imaginations. . and so am I.
And, I'm going to have to learn how to call my friends if I want to talk to them.
And, I'm going to have to learn how to focus on my work with music, not TV, as a distraction.
And, I'm going to have to learn how to fill up my time reading books, again, instead of status updates.
And, I'm going to have to . . . learn to be ME again, not the virtual smart ass that I pretend to be online.
I hope this will set me up for success. I'm not saying this is forever, but I'm saying that I need become a good mommy first. And, I need to use my time to create the products that I want to market online, FIRST.
SO. . . Goodbye virtual unreality. . . until we meet again, go fuck yourself! I'm going to live in the REAL World for awhile!!
i love you. and i'm going to follow suit.
ReplyDeleteBravo, Elayne! I hope this is a great time of reflection for you and a chance for your children to get some perspective, as well. A number of years ago we got rid of our cell phones (we still have a tracfone for long-distance traveling), then we closed our TV services (we have no local stations, so that means nothing comes on our TV), and then last October I decided to deactivate my FB account. Seriously, it was FB that took the majority of my time... tons of conversations to be had all over the place. And part of that is because I am very secluded in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere Nebraska. But I have to say that the instant I deactivated my account and resigned from a volunteer position for a small Nebraska non-profit organization, our lives began to change. Dramatically. We still had Netflix and e-mail, but I was so much more aware of how I spend my time. We began reading more, doing household chores together, talking about the future, doing more home learning activities (my daughter looks up Youtube videos on every topic under the sun when we don't have other resources in our small community).
ReplyDeleteBecause change was happening immediately, I didn't feel the need to dump every last technology... particularly because we do still use them for our homeschooling/unschooling, for work (teaching at the college), and because all of our family members live 1,000 miles away and the very thought of taking four very young children with me to the library so that I can check email and respond to everyone just sounds impossible. LOL But it's a week-by-week thing. If ever Netflix truly poses a problem for my children in moderation, we can go a couple months without. We'll just take each new challenge as it comes.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Shaye!! I have been noticing a HUGE difference, as well. The boys no longer whine and cry and beg to watch TV. They very quickly accepted that it wasn't an option at this house. I've gotten a good start on TWO of my designs for the fashion show. . . I had originally put internet on hold, but I did take that off because I do my businesses primarily from the internet and, like you, I don't cherish needing to go to the library with these 3 rascly boys, just so that I can see if my shop sold something. . .
DeleteThe boys have spent WAY more time outside since we unplugged, and we've done WAY more as a little family. We took a drive yesterday and played with styrofoam planes outside, and though they still fight, like brothers, the conflicts have already become WAY less!!! I had debated doing this long ago, and wish I had. . . but I'm so very happy that it's done now. It's going to make an amazing difference.
As far as Facebook goes. As long as I miss it, I will not reactivate. I did set up a pseudo account so that I could keep my photography page open, but I basically only have a couple family members and a couple friends on there and instead of getting caught up in a million little conversations like you, I'm now on there less than 10 minutes per day! Who knew there was so much time to be had?!